The return of it can only happen to Dan – the bank episode

Dear all,


What a pleasure of a weekend that was! First up it was off to the first ever Bamfest in Yorkshire. It went rather well and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Originally, it was supposed to be with Christi Andropolis but she was unfortunately not very well so it was just myself. Thanks to Paul Arrowsmith and co for having me. Then it was a loooooong drive to Inverness to play Northern Roots festival. Special thanks to Bruce McGregor for having me and it was a royal blast including a surprise guest appearance with Rob Heron and the Teapad Orchestra. Then finally Monday night I was in Perth to play a house concert which was absolutely lovely and a fine way of rounding off a Scottish weekend!


Family time now though, I had a great time with my uncle in Prestwick last night and tonight I see my parents which is always marvellous. But the gigging returns tomorrow night – I’m in Newcastle playing banjo with the Tony Bengtsson band. This guy has an amazing voice and a fine songwriter. I first came across him at a music night in Newcastle in a pub and he made the whole, rather rowdy pub, fall silent as he let loose with a stunning a cappella verse. His album ‘Snake On The Woodpile’ features myself on banjo and is a fine bit of work so do check out this gig. It’s at the Cumberland Arms at 7.30.


So the title – you would not believe what happened to me last Thursday. I went to the bank in Bromley to pay in a considerable amount of cash. I always rather mistrust these machines that one can use to pay in money rather than seeing a cashier. There’s something disconcerting about it I think. I think so even more now. This branch of Barclays have a super duper new machine which I was strongly advised to use when I came to the branch. I said I tend to prefer seeing the cashier but they said ‘honestly this thing’s great’. So I thought I’d give it a try. The idea of this machine is that you put your card in, select pay in cash and then you literally just put your cash in the slot and it counts it and credits it to your account. Awfully good sounding isn’t it? Except of course this is Dan. So after a considerable amount of time spent making odd noises the machine displays ‘unable to credit your account. We cannot return your items’. Items being a considerable amount of cash. Great. So here am I with cash gone and no proof that I had it. So I asked a member of staff to sort it out, which to be fair to her she did, but I should mention that this was supposed to be a quick trip before I headed into London to catch the booked train back to Stafford (by booked meaning if I didn’t get it it would cost me loads for a new ticket…). So the advice I would give to you before using one of these super duper machines is…don’t use these super duper machines.