Why bother with Wayne Rooney?

Dear all,


Well just the one gig since my last outing but it was quite a night. Many thanks to the people from my hometown for, as ever, providing me with so much support and loyalty. The band had a great night, despite a rather stressful day, so thanks to everyone for that. This weekend I’m in another place very close to my heart – the Northeast! My student years and couple of years afterwards were some very happy times so it’ll be great to go back. On Saturday I’m playing with the legendary Alistair Anderson in Rothbury (and a solo set as well) then on Sunday I’m playing at the Americana festival at the Sage Gateshead firstly on a boat and then in the evening at Northern Rock Foundation Hall.


So that’ll be fun. Now then a few things to say this week. Firstly, I like many am horrified at the prospect of the privatisation of the Post Office. It seems difficult to fathom how these poltroons still believe that privatisation of every public service works. Witness the chaos and fragmentation of our cursed train system (which by the way we subsidise at a greater cost than national rail was, as well as inflated ticket prices and the fact it’s crap). The utter rip off of energy companies. The shambles of G4S and the olympics etc. The list goes on and on…it seems especially ludicrous given royal mail don’t actually appear to be losing money. But no, it’ll help get public spending down. Yes yes it will. The fact that in the long term it will cost more is neither here nor there. Oh you Thatcherites are always right – she saved the country’s economy by privatising everything. The fact that growth was actually not that great during her time and the damage caused was lasting…irrelevant. She was good for Britain!


Anyway enough sarcasm. Wayne Rooney – why the hell do Chelsea want Wayne Rooney? First things first yes if Wayne Rooney is on form he’s a very good footballer. But he is not and never has been a world class footballer. He is not in the same bracket as the top players including his teammate Robin Van Persie who frankly urinates upon him from a very high cliff. Add to this of course, he is temperamentally a waste of space. His legendary inability to not lose his temper on the pitch and get sent off, swear at cameras or generally be a tosser is one thing. Then there’s the fact that he wanted to leave Manchester United a couple of years ago because he was worried the team weren’t progressing much before miraculously changing his mind when offered £250,000 a week. So he’s also a mercenary. He’s now thrown a sulk because of the implication that he’s not first choice striker. He isn’t because he’s not as good as Van Persie so he’s a sulker too. And finally he’ll cost stupid money because he’s English and our strange transfer system means that average English players cost £20million whereas a top foreign player who is actually better will cost less. So yes Mourinho, if you’re only going to have one transfer target why Rooney?